The night was just sweets and just simply, lovely.

The Pendeks was early, like sheesh!! Pasal bola, pasal kawan and pasal lepaks, he came early.. And that pisses me off!! Bcos it states I'm so not that important to him. And that, I hate.. Hmmph!!

Movie was at 10 pm and I so hate it that we had 2 hours to spare and that was boring!! Simply boring! Msged dear Fid, who was otw home and she was having those not-so-fine-in-the-mood date. haha!! Seriously dearie.. You've got to sabar with the choices. But that guy was so ungentlemanly!! Sheesh.

Number 23 was great! Even though it was confusing, but it was gereks!! I just don't get it about the pink thing that becomes 23. Popcorn munching, which was so memenats-kan our jaws. And so tak terhabis punye air coke.

Movie ended closely to midnight and the two of us was so takuts we would miss the last bus. And ppl!! Where is the new bus no. 5 which goes through Orchard?? We were searching for that bus from bus stops to bus stops?? Ended up taking 14, bcos we didn't want to pay 3 bucks for NR7, and dropping at East Coast Rd and walked all the way to blk 26 bcos I was craving crappily for teh Peng!!

And Pendeks was so nice to send me home in a cab and back to his place..

So lastly, to Pendeks dearest... It was just like sweets and candies. And even though there were geram moments but it was still lovely to be out with you.. And Tks for everything!! And I do, really, really feel bad!! And I do not want to menyusahkan you agi.. I will try my best not to! Muahaha.. And thanks for being by my side, all this while and always. *hugs, loves and kisses*

Do send me the pics.. SOONS!!

Ohh, ohh.. To Mr Zander, I'm so sorry i couldn't talk for long.. I'm using prepaid la!! And I'm sorry I couldn't make it for that clubbing thing and tonight's dinner. I have my personal reasons.. And, and.. i understood the Number 23 storyline. I'm not that blur after all... Bluek!!

And to "Taj Mahal", I'm sorry for all that has happen to you. Take things easily.. things will go your way or not, tp kau kene reda je la. Things will happen smoothly, your way or not. Stay cool, annoying and irritating always alrite?? And do gain back tat 7 kilos you lost.. Jgn la pasal pompan, kau stress mcm gini.. *hugs for you too*

And mister, I'm sorry to break your heart and your feelings. And i can't believe you deleted me from your friends list and wanted out of my life forever.. Why can't we be good friends like we used to be?? I didn't know your feelings for me until recently. Seriously, I had no clue. So, before this thing drags and find myself in trouble again, i had to tell you the truth. And I swear, i didn't know that I was leading you on. because we never talk about our personal lives. And too suddenly, you drop this bomb on me, I'm shocked. So, if you are reading this, I'm sorry like hell.. And hey, I do miss you, even though i never met you.. but in a friendly way, just not that kind of way..

Ok.. I'm werking later at 9am.. And its 4.08am and I'm not asleep.. And its like.. Sheesh!!

Ok ppl!! Woots, or is it, hoots??
Byes

I just want to blog this before going off..

I'M MEETING MY PENDEKS LATER!!! Muahaha..

hey, its been 10 days ok?? *looks around the room* *whispers* I miss himm....

ok, toodles.. Byes!!

And ppl, if you guys see me around, do tegur me?? I hate it when you guys see me and I don't see you. And when I go online, you guys will say, "hey, I saw you jus now/ytd.." And that, I hate..

Ashwin's back!! haha.. How funny of you to just beep me and to say just to say "I'm back!". I do take note, you know.. Its the 28th basically!! Do meet up soons ya?? Now jetlag-ing, so have that rest and we meet up, soons for that coffee. Muahaha!!

Today, today and today!!

I ponteng werk again!! I was closing yesterday and I was opening today!! So basically i could only have like 2 and half hours of sleep and that is freaking not enough!! So I just slept and slept and slept and I woke up at 4.30 pm. Then after mahgrib, I slept again till now!! See?? I'm so freaking tired and my legs is numb like crazy. My feet are sensitive, you know and I just hate it when the numbness and then the peeling starts. Its terrible la!! Grr...

Ok, now on a serious and sorry note,

wait, let me start off with a quote, *looks at Dee and Mal, "aku pun dah tau pakai quote-muote nie tau, dah canggih!!"*

That's when I love u
I love u
A little more each time
And when u cant quite match you clothes
Or when u laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love u
I love u
More then u know
And when u forgot that we had a date
Or that look that u give when u show up late
Baby I love u
I love u anyway

Aslyn-that's when I love you

Ok fine, its not a quote, its just lyrics from some girl singer ok..

N that goes to Pendeks!! I'm sorry for all those stupid karenahs of mine, those stupid words I used on you. And I'm sorry for being so unreasonable and so freaking merapeks with the attitude. *seriously merendahkan diri yg terendah sekali dgn yg muke terpaling sedihs* I love you, no matter woots... *hugs loves n kisses*

And Fid!! Mane kau la!?! do you want the pics?? Sudah lama ku menunggu untuk kehadiran mu di sini.. *mencari-cari kau di alam siber*

To a certain someone, you are so hypocritic okay??? Do you think I'm gonna help u?? You are just so mean and please... The last thing I want is to be in the same werkplace as you. Sheesh!! ok, I'm so jahat la!! But hey! I'm just taking care of myself ok?? Meany-mean Sue!! *he knows who he is, but I don't think he even goes my blog anyhows.. Muahaha*

To Mr Zander, SHUT UP!! I maybe blur and yes, yes.. It was strike four and I know you don't have cancer, so stop bringing that thing up.. Sheesh!! Do beep me up for that trip next week?? But from the looks of it, you are just one, big worse event planner!! Muahaha.. Biatch!! Kwakwa.. I'll be damn glad if you actually read this thing, which I know you will.. HAHA!!

Ok people!!
NITES!!

LOVES FROM SUE...

The WerkPlace FrenzY!!

The kumpulan of people of the workplace!!

Those tired faces but still happy and merry among each other. Pose for the camera, bebs!!

Today is Mr Al Amin's last day!! And its like so many people are quiting and its so sedih and the group of faces are reducing and reducing and reducing!

To Abang Al Amin kite(hehe..), Gd luck to all your endeavours and the new job. Harap2 you get admission to the U and who knows, maybe we could also be in the same U also, insyaallah.

And ppl!!! Stop quitting la!! plus all the makciks-makciks also!! No more KIV and in consideration.. I will seriously miss ur dancing in the wee hours of the mornings.. hehe

And you slept... again

Just 20 minutes and you couldn't wait...

I had news..
I wanted you to be the first to know and wanted to ask your opinion..
But you slept... yet again

I guess, I was late again, yeah.

Its ok.
Understand, understood.
You are tired and you work morning tomorrow.

Well, news was that...
My application for my advanced diploma is successful.

But I'm still waiting for response for my NIE and NTU application.
So, I'm just simply confused on what to do.
Should I wait somemore for the 2 applications??
Or should I just chop this offer for advanced diploma.
Haiz..

But, But..
Lets say, I didnt get the successful applications for the 2,
What am I going to do??

C, c!! I got headache already!! Sheesh

Someone needed for career advisory!!

Yeah.. Just go on and sleep..

Understand, understood..

Its not about how much I bt all my perangai-ss all day,
Not about how many times I reject your calls
Not about those times I felt dampened in my spirits
Not about the level that I missed you that I haven't seen you in a week
Not about what I lied about something important which was not
Not about how I cried in the middle of the nite
Not about how long I stared at my hp, just hoping to see your name appear
Not about how much I worry about you
Not about the times I waited just for you to be home
Not about how many times I said, "I hate you"

Its about your priorities in life.

If what we have now isn't that much priority for you now,
Just let go.
Its hurting me too much.

The reason why I told myself,
"No relationships for now, Sue"

Now, even without a relationship,
Look what it did.

Like I said,
"The first month is always the sweetest,
But after that, Its Crap!!"

Understand my maksud??
Make a choice dearie.

I just can't stand it anymore...
Nites or shud it be morning??

Just waiting and harpin on you could just take the whole night..
FYI..

Untuk membuka tirai post hari ini,

I JUST LUUURRVEEE TODAY!!! Hurhurhur

With my tired body and heavy eyes, I dragged my feet to meet up with the peeps. And I would regret it if I didn’t go.. Bcos I just love being there and then, without even thinking of anything unpleasant. (Words aiming at Pendek.)

Even though the start of it was unpleasant with the sarcastic remarks and that plain face-off confrontations, slowly, the atmosphere came back.

As usual, people were late and it was so melampau punye lambats! With the lies yg tak menjadi, and with Man spoiling the surprise, it was just simply terrible la!!

Swensens was great!! The peeps were eating slow pasal there was so many courses. With Lin and Fathul’s perangai-ess about stealing our food selepas mengorek emas!! Hehe… With the ice cream yg tak terhabis.. Really, really banyak la ice cream die!! The birthday song was great, with Fid so the paisey nak mamps but, sweet kan kite sume, esp Diana, the organiser!! Hehe

We had extra company, with Dzaffir along. Oops!! Wrong.. Its Mr Zander Jay Sprute now. A strange name but it’s cute though. He’s so freaking kecoh with the tak-boleh-angkats-punye-slangs melayu. With all my interviews abt his life and his dumb jokes and so many faces.. The OMG so lawa and stylo tattoos.. (I cant believe I’m saying tattoos are nice..) The ear piercings yg berlobang which I can put my finger in. And the US currencies!! It was so jakunism btuls!!

After which headed to Marina South with cabbies in tow.. Bowling time!! As usual, Azri topped the game and I was loser of the day!! Don’t worry.. Makanan aku belanja you all bile gaji sampai nye!! With Naz’s boyfriend who was so damn the quiet mcm tak campur org but instead die malu.. People sume kecoh die malu2.. And my blistering feet which got worse after bowling!! And ooh, ohh!! If you wanted to know, ade org kan, die bowling… The ball actually rolled backwards la!! HAHA!!! *turns to Miss Hafidzah*

With a car and 2 bikes, which sumpah was so sempat gile yg nak mampus nye tp transport punye pasal, off we went to TWCC for supper. And thanks to Fahmy for the ride and recommendation for supper.. Prata was great, bcos it was on the house!! Haha.. On Fathul actually! Baik nah orang tu tak tau kenapa… There was so many on the house actually today… I think dapat gaji kot sume belanja.

Way home was by cabby because if you look closely kan, Fid’s forehead states, “Regular cabby customer”. Too bad there was no members card or else, she would qualify. Muahaha!! And tks for the drop-off, Fid so we three could take the bus home.

I just can’t wait and am looking forward to our following outings!! Tks you all for the nice day!! *loves, hugs and kisses*

The People..

The Early Girls..

Swensens Time!

The Birthday Girl.

The Jakunism of Currencies!

Girls Toilet Breaks!

Bowling Time!

Supper Time!

Way Sweet home for the Boys.

Friday:

Like I said, bad notti Sue off herself from werk!! Muahaha!! Well.. can’t be helped rite…

Went for Pentas!! And it was so the fun and so the kekeks and so the best and syiok la!!!

The dikir was gereks, Tarian was gerek!! Even though storyline was out of the way, The ending….. POWER!! I shed a tear or two. It was sedihs ok?? even though it was just a play, but the background song.. it jus adds on the atmosphere la.

And, if you went to Dee’s blog, if you read somewhere, someplace over there.. Well, I know its “Have it so flaunt it!”.. But Dee!! Over nah tu!! KWAKWAK!!

Went home to the smell of freshly baked brownies and it was yumyum-grumgrum!! (well, sister was baking brownies like almost midnite and who does that??) Luper pasal kaki yg berblisters tu.. But my brownies was being tak tercapai due to the calls of melepak-ings!!

Went out with the 3 guys!! From Teh Tarik to Mr Prata, to MacDonald and lastly, at last and finally!! Duduk depan 7-11.. Like Sheesh!! And OMG!!! Unbelievable but true.. Irshad is attached la!! And the girl is so sweet and putih!! And and.. Its been almost a month!! Phweet!! And I just hate that guy for disturb-ing me and kacau-ing me and teasing me.. Tak suke!! And I’m sure you had fun with me boxing with you and campak wrappers at your face!! Bluek!! Tu la dolat!! Tats why motor asyik terencat je!! Muahaha!!

And I will never go out with those 3 again.. (well, like as if!) Bcos I am a girl and they were actually checking out girls and mengurat anak dara org with their swit2.. OMG!! So embarrassing nye!!

Saturday:

Woke up to the calls of the handphone alarm and I can’t wake up but I tried to wake up. The problem with late nights and early mornings… Sheesh!

It was werk and werk and werk from 10 to 2am!! And its so freaking tiring!! Luckily, I’m doing a short shift tmr! And, and… I hit my 20,000 mark!! My total sales was over 21, ooo!! Woohhooo!! If only it was mine… Hmm, wouldn’t that be great??

And to my lovely people of 407, I can’t meet u guys up tomorrow. I can meet you but ermm.. at night!! I’m so sorry, loves!! I miss you guys but I’m sorry, under some circumstances.

Lastly, I miss my Pendeks!! I just hate it that we haven’t been talking well and I was with my perangai buruks, which I know he hates and malas nk layan… So?? It’s a blessing ok!! Bluek! But I miss you!! It’s been a week, know!! And I hate it that you don’t layan my karenahs no more like you used to… Hmmph!! Just kidding!

Ok people, nights and loves!!!

Ok!! Little Miss Naughty-Lazy-Sue is going off again today. That means all together, this week she only work for 3 days!! Pathetic isn’t she?? Hurhurhur.. Naughty, naughty!! Sheesh. She has only have 2 off days, but she off herself for 2 days!! HAHA!! Dee!! Sanggup tau kawan baik kau nie off-kan diri die just to see your show! Sheesh!

Well, basically, I just woke up!! Haha.. What do you expect?? I slept at 5!! Don’t blame me for the late night sleep! Blame the company for bringing me out, meronda2, ambil angin di tepi laut pada malam2 jumaat. Keke. But, but… It was fun having the road to yourself and just drive like no one’s business.. WEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, thank U!!! For the pick-up, let me have a nice night and it was fun!! Seriously fun!! But hey, you look scared at the end there. It made me laugh bcos it was so kekeks to the maximus la!! Hahha!! Pecut lari, dgn pantas!! Toleh sekali, bayang pun tak npk!! HEHE!! C u ppl ard soons!!

Love you!! Muacks!!

Sometimes, I do ponder…

*Does he treasure what I did for us?
*Does he take this relationship seriously?
*Is he even ready for this commitment?
*Is he fooling me around?
*Is this thing gonna last?
*Are we gonna last??
*Is our lives gonna change with each other’s presence?
*Will this be worthwhile??

I have loads of questions in my mind. Those uncertainties. Whether I’m doing things right or not. Am I?? Is it too fast for this to develop?? Is it??

Wah!! I’m so definitely confused!!

I have problems with habits-wise. Like those benda-benda gejala that you do.. Once in a while, according to you. I have problems with your late nights with friends. I have problems with your bo-chap attitude, sometimes. And other problems that I have regarding you. In the sense, I try my best to adhere/understand your situation in your life. But I ask myself, should I be the only one to compromise to your situation?? Shouldn’t you compromise too? We are in this together, and as a saying goes, “it takes to hands to clap”. So can you clap with me on this issue?? Sheesh!! My otak ah, very the really kecamuk yg takde had nye!!

And I myself has been so tired out like hell. So damn shagged and so freaking tired that I have been ngigau-ing!! Knowing myself, when I get home in the wee hours, I don’t even bother to bath/wash my feet or whatever. I just do a slam dunk on my sofa. Because I will reach home like 2 am 3 and I have to wake up like 6am.. So why bother bathing right?? And who in their right mind would shower in the early morning??

So sometimes, I would talk to Pendek and I will start my ngigau-ing.

Like ytd, I was talking to him like 4 am and I fell asleep like 5 mins. And that dear boy of mine had to msg me to wake me up. And he said something, and I replied, “You have to staple my receipt to your receipt.”. HAHHA!! The other day, I said, “Don’t disturb me.. I have a customer waiting!”. There you go! All the pengaruh-es of werk brought home into my sleep. And OMG!! It is so embarrassing that he had to hear all my ngigau-esss!! Sheesh!!

But he has been so selamba about it and just laughing his head off to make me feel less pai-sey!! Hurhurhur… Well, he is one understanding, laid back and selamba boy!! keke

Note: Mestilah majuks!! I didn’t get my wishes ok!!!! Hmmph!!

The Truths of Life..

We tell lies when we are afraid...
Afraid of what we don't know,
Afraid of what others will think,
Afraid of what will be found out about us.

I have been living in self-denials lately. Those lies I told and I don't know why. ANd I'm so sorry for all that. I feel so bad all these weeks and I'm so sorry. You are my closest and the bestest but I lied. And I'm so sorry! I don't know why I lied but hey, I know you still love me though and I do love you.


Never be afraid to fall in love.
It may hurt a lot,
It may give you aches and pains,
But if you don't follow your heart,
In the end you will cry even more
For not giving love a chance.

Should I or should I not?? Or should I give it more thoughts about it??

Well, suprisingly, Today is one hell of a ride and shock!! Basically, if I saw Hippo today, it would complete the coincidences with the ex-bfs!! I'm serious!! I don't know what life has in hold for me but I saw them on the same day!! Sheesh!! And it was pure total awkwards!! like, I waved and introduced and bamm!! total silences! haha!!

And mister, why did u run/elak diri?? Can't you just salam him since you guys know each other?? Why must you avoid us?? And you lost weight!! That i realise.. Must eat more uh..

Lastly, my birthday wishes to Miss Hafidzah bte Ithnin (btul kan spelling bapak kau??)


Helo darling!! Happy 20th birthday!! May all your wishes come true!! And I'm sorry about him leaving but hey, you cant still contact each other kan?? And all the best to your license and your career. I love you la and Happy birthday again!! See you Sunday alrite?? Bye!! *love, hugs and kisses*

Missing The SuperHeroes

Missing these few people.. Its been more than a month since I actually met and hanged out with you guys. Do mit up soons alrites?? As for now, I'm not that free de. And people, please update your blogs!! At least I know what is happening to you guys. Bye, bye!! Love you guys la!! And I miss you badly!!!

Like finally, I get to blog!! Sheesh… Missing blogging so muuucchhh!!!

Work:

Work has been so busy and so tough and so the very the aching and its so nerve wrecking counting thousands and thousands of money! But it has also been fun with the colleagues. Mr Johan, (btw, he is Chinese!!), all the kakak2-es and the makcik2-es and all the people there la!! And the eye candy!! Hehe.. So now, its, bye2 Denny, HELOO, Kim Swee!! Haha!! And the shortages and the excess and the mengumpats and the jokes and all the fun-nesss of them la!! The late nights and the singing all the way back home in the wee hours so we won’t sleep the way home. HEHE!! Plus the stupid butcher’s teasing and all the sales assistant’s karenahs and the stupid customers. But somehow in some way, it was very worthwhile.

Saturday:

Well, it was such a nice evening la!! Pendek actually cycle to my place and we conquer our mission.. To cycle to ECP!! But, but, I wasn’t riding, I just tompang him at the front and he cycle. Mengikut zaman2 kampung bile couple gi dating.. HAHA!! But, but it was damn sweet la and yes, yes, it is romantic and so funny and all the way, I was being di-tegur because I was making lots of noises!! And Pendek didn’t like it. But who cares?? AND IM NOT A BADAK OK?!??! Bluek! There, with candles and a knife, we cut the cake, WHICH I BAKE!! Semangats kan?? Sanggup tau!! Last minute preparation because I pity someone, Birthday never cut cake before. The way home was full of singing this song, ‘Kalau ade pocong dalam rumah, lebih baik duduk sini nyanyi same…… lalala’.. hehe! It’s a stupid song to sing in the middle of the night while cycling. Sekali pocong follow, then you know ah! Hehe

Niways, Life has been so hectic and so busy that I don’t even have time to eat la!! But, but… at least I’m keeping my life busy!

And thanks to the daddy, who has been picking me up in the wee hours, even though I was just merayap-ing and lepaks with the frens malam2 buta and after work oso. Don’t worry, dapat gaji, later duit minyak I bayar k!! hehe

Last is my belated wishes to my lovely Pendek,


To the most Pendek-test loved one,

HAPPY 21st Birthday!! Like I said, you can finally watch R21 movies but wait for me hor, one more year!! Haha.. And I wish you all the best in your life because you want to do this and do that and I can’t figure out which you want. And yes, yes, you want Cisco la, traffic police la, go back to ITE la.. Well, whatever it is, I wish you all the best and, and I will always be behind you for support, no matter what your decision is! GO, BABY!! Ok la, happy Birthday and I love you la!! Bye, bye!! And I just can’t wait for that goatee to grow, so that I can change your name from Pendek to… Kambing!! Hehe

I was having my afternoon nap and I woke up to get the shock of the day!!

I know I keep saying, I can’t wait for the opening but hey, I’M SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT LA!! And btw, the opening tomorrow! Reason: I’m working full shift!! Which means 16 hours straight tomorrow, from 8 am to midnight!! Ok, now I’m so kan-chiong the nak mampus nye!! Kan chiong!!! Aaaahhhh!!! Aaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, Sue, chill!! *breathe in n out* AAAHHH!!! Panic attack!! I can’t take it! I’m just scared tomorrow I will panic when “facing the war” and just break down. And, and.. I asked Azri n co. to come tomorrow to see me, for support. Pakse eh?? Hehe

On the other note, hey, Mister! I know you won’t be reading this. But still, Happy Birthday!! I do remember your birthday and this year is no exception. So there goes…

And on the other note, I hope and don’t want to make the mistake I’m used to make. I’m just not so that believe-able in myself nowadays. Haiz!!

And on the other note, Pendek!! Ehem2… U SO SWEET LA!! hugs u!! *this is the mistake I’m talking about… Hmm…*

And on another note, (I promise this is the last note..), Goodness gracious!! I assure u I will tayangkan my boyfriend satu dunia, IF I HAD ONE SERIOUSLY!! And girl, I assured you will be the first to know, like you always do know. As for now, I’m chilling and still dating!! Hahaha.

Ok peeps!! Bye2… MUACKS!!
Nites!!

Freak alright!!

I did not play with your feelings!! You did!! You just didn’t know how to take care of my feeling/my heart!! You didn’t choose your words properly on me!! You scolded me lots of names and lots of stuff. Which girl can stand all that, when the guy she loved say all that to her?? That’s so inappropriate and disrespectful. You look down on women and that’s the problem with you. And you want to find true love, the sweet and pretty??? Check yourself out first. Respect a woman like they deserved to then!

And OMG!! Stop lying!! You did contact your ex when you were with me. And you lied to me when you met her. You met her behind my back!! Remember 11 to 2 am, you guys hanged out with her?? And you lied to me, you were working OT!! At least, when I went out with Azri, I told you!! I didn’t lie. Sekeping can be my witness, alright?? I always went to Sekeping when I had all these problems, because I trusted him and he helped. So you can’t spin the story the other way. It’s wrong!!

And Pendek never said to you, “we were gonna be attached, so please don disturb sue again.” He never said that!! Both of us had the same story. We both said, “We are just friends.” And that is basically what we are for the past 1 year, alright?!?! So you don’t make up some story and blab it all!!

And now, you want to discipline yourself to hate me?? WTH!! And what, you miss me that is why you irritate me?? That is bullshit!!

And even though we broke up, we still spoke to each other ok?? I never never want to speak to you, I never did that!!

OMG!! These are just lies!! And I admit I was in the wrong too. I won’t shrink my responsibilities. And yes, I’m still hurt, damnit, FYI!!!

*letting off steam to the maximus*

Today was very hectic and so kecoh la!!

And, and day at work was very tiring!! Tiring nak mampus!! And, and, dammit!! I’m gonna open counter soons and I hate2 it a lot!! And, and.. All my ex-3 Department Head, Asst. Department Head plus my supervisor are all my Department Head, Asst Department Head and supervisor!! Stress tak?? Dah kene blacklisted!! But, but.. colleagues are so loves la!! So the peramah, so the sayang and so the fun la!! Can’t wait for the opening!!

Mr Pendek-Belo has been so nice and sweet today. As per normal, macam tak biase je kan.. And, and… I just love you lah for the company!! And thanks for the night lah!!

Thanks for the laughters, tks for the choc ice blend incident, which is so kekek to the maximus nye, tks for the bugis trip and tks for the bus ride company!!

One lovely night…


oh, this goes to Mr Pendek-Belo,


I'm sorry for the ungkit2 about the "friend" thing and yes, yes, I am naggy but its for your own good la!! And whatever we talked about just now, the unworthiness and all those stuff, I am scared of all those. And I'm so scared to move ahead due to some bad experiences. Its been a year we have known each other but somehow, there is still some gap somewhere, sumhow. So lets just take things slow till I am ready for the next step. But I feel so secured with the promise you made just now and I feel so touched sampai tersedu-sedu saya. So, anyways,no matter what, I do love you, like always!!

Boy: I have a request. Please stop drinking.
Girl: Ok. I’m trying to.
Boy: Kalau besok tomorrow kite kluar lepas zohor, I hope you could do your prayers first. Kalau blh, I nak u buat nari malam, isyak you. Jgn tinggal kan solat, itu penting.
Girl: Will do. Finally! Finally I have someone to bring me to the right road.
Boy: We will do our best to help u. And I will try to arrange belajar ugama kat masjid ghufran k. Don’t worry. I teman you, we go through this together.

OK!!!!!!!! How sweet is that?!?!?! God Forgive me, but I was eavesdropping on their conversation for almost an hour. They were talking about their relationship, their willingness for each other and help each other for the better.

I wish I could have a boyfriend like that. I know I’m not any good in keeping up on religion stuff, so having a boyfriend that cares about yourself and your perception in religion, would be so fulfilling. Hidup tentu aman, tenang and fulfilling.

On the high side of my life,

I just love the people at work!! They are just so fun loving and warm and just simply.. loves la!!! There were lots of butt-smacking (by Miss Gina ter-over)and gurau-ess and laughters and just lots of funness!! I know misunderstanding are inevitable but hey, do make up and work together?? Looking forward to more days!!

On the down side of my life,

I know you are used to leading a life like that. Your life is soccer and your buddies and your late nights. But sweets, you must remember, sometimes life isn’t just that way anymore. You have to make changes and a few sacrifices. You can’t keep me waiting and harping, sweets. I’m not trying to stop you but do try to keep them down. Sometimes, I do feel uncertain but hey, I do try to understand and try to give you your space. But do keep it down please??? No matter what, I do love you alright?? *hugs*

Aloha-helo!!

Today was filled with drama, sensation and full of emotions by the beach. There were feelings of emotional, jiwang ke sini sane, sensitivity and feeling of terase-ness.

Seriously, I’ve never seen this side of Fathul before throughout my years with him. The Fathul I know was so rough, sarcastic, mulut laser and was so the annoying and irritating and so despicable in his own ways. But seeing him that way just now, somehow and hate to admit it, touched my heart. His feelings, his sincerity and his emotions towards his girl. Tell me, he can talk non-stop and yes, he spent almost 5 hours with us, talking about her, her and just her. He is just one of those who look cool and tough on the outside but just simply fragile/soft on the inside. And boy, was I surprised, disbelief and simply in awe with all those things he did. It was just simply too sweet for that Fathul-kind-of-way!! Sheesh!! And my dear friend-cum-mulut attacker, all the best boy!!! Treasure this one better than you did!! And Azri and my ears will be there if needed. *hugs*

And babe, I do want the story to end but hey, it’s not that easy, isn’t it?? All those years together and now, we are just friends. We will take things slowly to adjust the situation and yes, you know I want the best for you, no matter what. *hugs to you too*

Ok, upon request of the girlfriends, 3 of them to be exact, and I don’t know why they are simply interested about seeing his face, when it’s just a face. Just tell me, just how cute is he?? *sarcastically* (like sheesh!!)


So, does he still look kid-dish for a 21 year old policeman???

Gd morning!!!

Here is a morning post your eyes to read. As I can see, is 8.42a.m in the morning and I’m at home. Y??? Because I skip work today!! I am sick de li de nah!! So I didn’t go for my attachment at Vivo today!! Tomorrow then go lah, somemore in Tampines only. Wahaha!!

Yesterday was a whole day spent at home and a half night, chilling-masuk-freezer at Tampines MacDonald, with the bestie!! The besties couldn’t make it la so a bestfriend made it worthwhile.

We were talking and talking and chatting and mengumpat-ing and gossiping. We had our sharing moments and mengutuk people moments and dee!!! Yes, there is control!! Hehe but hey, all relationships have their own way to keep it going so with your way, it keeps your relationship stronger by the day. Keke.

To a dear friend of mine, I’m so worried about you. The way you are, the times you cried, I’m just so worried la. I’m just so freaking concerned about you. Just know that I will be there for you when you need help ya?

And another is to a freaking person, who has always been making me geram and making me wait and wait and wait, then noting happens. And I'm angry and mad at you now alright?? I hate you....

Don’t you feel days like this are the most memorable ones?? *grins to herself*

Okay, seriously, I don’t know what is happening to me nowadays. I’m not crazy, not sick and not mad. Just that these days, I feel like it’s easy to pass by and go, with much relief. Ok, if you people get what I mean.

Ok, I am in a dilemma. I just started work and I just had this other offer at the airport. The good thing about my current one is its simple and I’m always on the move because I know I can’t sit still. But for the airport job, its so desk bound or counter bound. I just have to layan customer and help them change their money or something like that. And the pay is good!! Sheesh. So should I go for the pay or should I go for the move that I just simply love??

And simply said, I’m gonna work with Kak Ram, Azhari, Baby and most of all, my DM is Mr Denny Takin!! Yay!!! Ok, I’m so the very excited and so very the tak sabars for the opening!! But the thing is, I HATE THE UNIFORMS!!! Why can’t I wear my normal all-black uniform?? I look so lady like and sophisticated. Now, because of the uniform (it’s a yellow top and grey lao Ah Pek pants, btw!!), I’m gonna look like lao Ah Ma.. *frustrated face* But, but the lao Ah pek Pants will I alter to make it tight fitting enough. Tailor-Sue-in-the-making!! hurhurhur

To my dearest PG, I will be attached to Vivo on Thursday. Can you meet me mah for lunch??? Miss you la!! Wohoohoo!!

And, and.. I’m meeting the besties tmr!! Insyaallah. Tak sabar langsung because I DO MISS THEM!!!

And I don’t know why but I have lots of these motivational/counseling talk nowadays. And Pendek, I know you have your point. But from my perspective, I do my business, he does his. He has the right to know but what’s the point of him knowing?? He doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t ask about my concerns, he doesn’t restrict or keep track of my movements or what I do nowadays. He doesn’t know who I hang out with, my friends, where I go, what I do and he doesn’t even know that I’m working. And I only see him like two, three times a week. On weekends even. Its like he lives in his own world. And I’m sorry, I can’t accept what he did, right in front of me, in front of my own eyes. And yes, no matter what, he created me and I should give him the respect that he deserved. But what about the respect I deserve? How about the times he degraded me so much with those words so crude that it just hit my self-esteem below zero degrees? I know no matter what he did in the past, I should let it go and accept him the way he deserves too. Well, I will, but not for the time being. Wounds takes time to heal. *emotional mode alert* And I can’t believe I almost cried in front of you la. Nasib baik or else, malu nye aku!! Sheesh. And Pendek, tks for the listening ear. Well, you are just one very kaypoh person!! Bluek!!

And I have a mission to accomplish for next week. Its top secret and highly confidential. But I need to do the test run first.. Hmm.. which means I need to find some free time, which I can’t possibly have, starting from next week. Sheesh.

Last but not least, goes to the Mother, whom I loved a lot!!

The mother has been so supportive and has been giving werds of encouragement and I’m so thankful for all her prayers for my well-being as well as the siblings. She has been so understanding yang tak tersangka (seriously..) even though she still have her restrictions on my movements and has been screaming at me, for the offences of tight/revealing clothes, the problem with membonceng motor org psl bukan muhrim (sheesh!!), getting me to solat at the waktu-waktuss (her werds: “kalo tk pekik, sumenye tak jln sampai waktu pun abis!!” *shakes head*), the late nights and for being the clown of the family (the noises I make till satu umah kecoh giler!!). Well, she finally knew about something which she should know like almost 2 months back and she actually screamed at my ears lah!!! But after words of soothness (being a good mother-bootlicker.. *prouds of it*) and updates of my life, she just rolled her eyes, grins and knocks my head!! Wait, and she said, “Make sure it’s the last but you can’t help it if its not. Because you are just like me. *laughs*” I didn’t know my mom was cheeky!! Haha.. Well, whatever it is, I LOVE HER LOTS LA!!! *saying this because she promised me shopping on next Sunday. keke*

Ok, bye2.. love you.. MUAX!!!

Life is so full of makciks kecohs-ness and I mean, REAL makcik kecohness!!! Haha.. Since last week, I have been one of the “makciks2” because my surroundings are so full of makciks2 la!! Really!!

The workplace has been so fun and so kecoh with all the stories, all the way from Vivo to Redhill and tomorrow, to Tampines!! Haha

And believe it or not, I survived 8 hours of lecture of SOP and LPO stuff, WITHOUT SLEEPING!! Amazing kan?? The reason: I had Puspa main geli-geli (pendek!! I’m using your werd.) and just keeps saying, “Sayang! Bangun la. LPO tgk tu..” everytime I had some shut eye. And believe it or not, my name is now currently “Sayang”. *clueless, shrugs* I guess I’m the lovely one that I’m labelled sayang. Hurhurhur.

The makciks2 has been so nice and so warm and so welcome-y and I’m so able to click well with them. Reason: I’m kepo like a makcik2 mah!! Haha.

Tomorrow will be pindah-ing to Tampines, which means early wakey for me. So the clever me whose mother is bantah-ing, is asking for closing every time I’m working. Because I am a sleepy head and I’m so hyperly-active at night and I can have my night cycling time home, sometimes. It will be full of funs to be cycling the lanes home after midnight, don’t you think??? Pendek!! You will accompany me Kan?? hehe

Someone has been so sweet and has been such a darling that I’m so simply happy because of it. But there are geram moments that I’m simply so mad at times. But hey, he does apologize in the end and he is so sweet la when he does the pujuk-ing. And, and.. I want your phone because I want the songs lah!! And the pictures too! Sheesh. *sings “Don’t be mad if the girl wants to leave me. Its not my fault….”*

And hello Mister! I don’t know what you were saying/hinting at but hey!! I’m letting it go because you sound so mabuk-ish when you were talking to me. But it’s very unacceptable/insulting/kehinaan yg paling terendah sekali that you actually said like that to me. And hey!! Let me tell you this and I am damn proud la of it. I AM A VIRGIN AND I’M PROUD TO BE ONE!! Sheesh. Yes! I have the body of a real woman or so you say, but you can’t view virginity by the body. It’s viewed by actions, damnit!! And I’m so insulted yang paling terase sekali, when you doubted me. Because I’m no stupid girl who have given up her innocence for the sake of pre-marital nafsu. (No offence to those who did but these are my own principles.)

Ok!! I had enuff blogging for the day!! Bye-o, mucho, gracias!!

MUAX!!!

Yesterday was the very hectic day I can ever asked for. And it wasn’t a dream la!! Great!! Had to be in IMM at 9 am, well that was the reporting time but hey, Suhaila, so I was almost half an hour late. Hehe.. Had our briefing and I was so stumped when they wanted me to be a full timer!! Well, I can’t!! It’s temporary de!! Sheesh

Well, the orientation was so leceh!! There were new rules where we have to go for NETP and I’m so the lazy nak mampus!! Its at Bukit Merah!! So its gonna cost me a whole lot of taxi fare to get there because I don’t know where the hell is it!! Somewhere ulu2 la. So almost 20 bucks will be burnt from my pockets. Haiz!!

Ooohhh!! I met those girls just now!! Miss Kayathiri, Revathi and my darling Rohila!! I miss them la!! We were gossiping, laughing till tears flow and had stomach cramps!! And every one is so changed!! Especially Revathi!!She looks so Formello!! Hehe. Great time miting those girls!! Like just loves la!! Reminiscing about old times and new and lots of freaking dirty talk where all their innocence-city simply left their souls. HAHHA!!

And why is it that I always missed seeing Syahirah?!?! Like lots of times alright. I do want to see her sometime. And to Miss Unik, if you are reading this, I’m so sorry!! I will call you.. SOONS!! Well, you have your lectures so we mit at nite, ok?? *winks* To Mr Azri, tks for coming over to layan my brother and accompanying him with his Playstation. Sorry I didn’t layan tetamu dengan baik because I am so the malas nak mampus and so sleepy!! So I’m sorry and sorry I hit you when you tried to wake me up. I’m a heavy sleeper, see. Hurhurhur

To Fid and/or Co, Bsok2 mlm ye?? Hang out till late!! And have a great nite!! Wohhoo!!

And Lastly,

I know I haven’t said much about him yet but still… Let this be the first alright??


To Pendek,I’m sorry for being rude/sarcastic/kurang ajar and mengutuk you like loads of stuff. And no, you are not brainless/bengap/pendek/gelap/tak berpelajaran tinggi and worst of all, sampah masyarakat. I’m sorry. I am bad/evil/berkata yg tak beralas langsung.. I’m sorry for making you mad,geram/disappointed and whatsoever la.. Called you like tons of times but ya, you know what happens right. So here I am writing this entry, knowing you will read it so again, I’M SORRY… *sad and regretful face*

Well, whatever it is, love you, not more or less than I have ever had…

You still do love me
But why are you doing nothing?
Days passed by
Where I still wait for your presence
In my life again

I just took this quote from the net. Kind of felt it but then again, it is stupid to be feeling-feeling about quotes when most of the times I can’t understand them. Hmm..

Well, updates on my life…

Okay, yes, yes. I admit. I am scared of being in relationships. And so you say, I just don’t have that level of confidence in guys anymore. What do you expect? I had ermm.. 3 failed ones!! Not one but 3!! I had the feeling of being so deeply in love and so sweet and so romantic but then, BAM!! It was being crushed, straight at my face!! And getting that again for the 3rd time, I don’t think I can handle as well yet. So yes, let’s just take thing slow and let nature take its course. I’m just 19 turning 20, and insyaallah umur panjang, I have loads of time to search for that perfect one. And Azri, this love bet we made, I will win my sepuluh ketul!! I don’t think I will make that mistake again, insyaallah. And thanks for understanding!

Dreamt of someone which I’m basically not supposed to. Well, I told you I’m pathetic!! Now I know how hard I is of getting over someone. It can take months, years or even, never. But I’m doing fine now, no more depression but people!! Can you stop telling me that news?? I seriously wish I don’t know but on the other hand, I wish to know. Well, whatever Sue!! You are just PATHETIC!!

I can’t believe it and I don’t know why.. But I do miss that little ring on my little finger. It feels weird without it. Hmm… Ade bekas tanda cincin!! *reminiscing*

To someone who got pinched by me lots of times just now (hurhurhur), first thing first, the answer to your question is, you should cry instead of laugh! But think again, You should laugh, because all that was maybe or purely just cinta2 monyet in my life. Perhaps. Maybe that entry should I delete right?? It isn’t applicable anymore.

And I’m mad at 2 people! I still do think about it, even though I look okay on the outside. I am not some eraser who can be borrowed/passed around among the 2 of you okay?!?!? For one reason, you people could have asked me how I felt and not settle it like senyap2 behind my back!! I’m just freakishly pissed okay, because I got to know about it like a week after it happened.. No good!!

Okay, I’m having some uncertainty in my head right now.. Was it a dream or was it real??? I already checked. My prepaid value was low, I had all the information in my head, and I remember Tracy talking to me but hey!! It feels too dreamy. That is why it is never good to call me when I’m sleeping. I get so Ermm… ngigau-ish (don’t ask me what language I’m using ok..) that I get uncertain about it. This is the second time I’m unable to differentiate my dream n reality. And I don’t know why. So now, whether it’s a dream or not, I’m still reporting tomorrow at 9 am. Then, I will tell you whether it’s a dream or not, tomorrow! *prays its real, not a dream*

I miss my friends!! Loads!! I miss my best friends!! I miss my SHF!! I miss my Poly friends!! I miss that some one!! And that other someone!! And Other one!! And another!! And that other!! Many others yg tak terkire la!! HAHA!!

Insyaallah, after all that appointment letter signing, training or whatsoever, if it wasn’t a dream, I will go meet those girls!! I miss them la!! I haven seen them since ermm, 2004!! 3 years!! How long is that?!?! So I’m longing for it!! Wee!!

Okay!! That is all for tonight my dear readers!!

Ola!! MuaX!!!

Was that what I have to go through to get my wishes/harapans granted?? Why can’t I have my wishes without those things happening? Well, maybe stuff are just meant/fated to happen.

I don’t know why/how you could actually put up with it and I seriously salute you and love you for all the things you have done. He shouldn’t have done that to you. He should have not. It was very wrong and very evil of him to do that. And I can’t believe how you could take all that abuse, and in the end, be very humble and respected him in which he was lawfully obliged to. And yes, I cried for you because I love you too much to see you that way/in that situation. And no matter what happens, you have us to stand by you and giving you the support that you need. *hugs tightly that I just don’t want to let go*

And perhaps, that was the reason I just can’t accept a boyfriend who just likes to abuse their girlfriends, physically or verbally. I just can’t see my future getting beaten up and getting depressed/stressed by it.

That is just not the way/life that any woman should lead. All women deserve to be respected and treated fairly. Women are also human beings and they have feelings. They are not some punching bags which men can just use to vent their angers, not even hurling abuses at them. I curse all the men who have so far made use of women/girls in any way they could!! Sheesh.

And I found out that one of my acquaintances was sentenced for some offence. Well, it is shocking!! I know she was a bitch/proud in secondary school but I can’t imagine how a girl can be in jail and go through life in there for months. But hey, sendiri buat, sendiri tanggung pe. Betul tak??

Ooohh, I don’t know whether you still read/go my blog nowadays, but hey!! Let me tell you this!! You can no longer say I’m wasting my life/buang beras kat umah/dah tua nak mampus tapi masih makan duit mak bapak/pemalas/rosak or whatever else you said of me. Because, Im not doing it no more!! Insyaallah, I’m gonna start fending for myself. But still, thanks for that wake-up call. Terase beta bile anda berkate gitu pada beta. Well, at least I did make an effort to work on it. So you better make your effort!! You are almost officially an adult and I remember you saying you wanted your cert but I DON’T SEE THE EFFORT!! And kate dah ludah, tak jilat balik?? Tapi nmpk nye, nak jilat jgk kan… SMI!!

I have been sitting at home for the past 2 days. See, see.. I can stay at home and be good once in a while. Pendek ajak kluar pun I never go noe!! Good, right?? *shouts to Mom* Kaki tak merayap pun!! Hurhurhur.. Well, the reason I haven’t been out is I have leg cramps!! Stupid cycling trip made my legs this way but still, I enjoyed the trip!! Very fun de ah!!

Tomorrow will be accompanying my Mama to Pasar Geylang.. Okay, seriously, I have never been (in a very looooong time!) or even step in the Pasar Geylang, the old one or the new one. I just hate the wet market but for my Mom’s sake, who has leg problem, I relented. So people, wish all the best for me!!*cross fingers* I know I will vomit at some time tomorrow. I just can’t tahan the smell!! Too over-powering!!

And on request from the brother, whom I benci-benci saying nowadays, tapi now sayang punye pasal, I’m gonna attempt my first brownies bake next week!! Wee!! Mambang mane ntah masuk dalam badan die, asking me to bake brownies for him!! Tak tau nak beli ke huh!! Hehe.. After a successful bake, maybe I’m gonna attempt my chocolate mudpie!! Special recipe from Miss Cutie Pie (happy now??)

And Alhamdullillah, I have been trying to keep my promises nowadays ‘cos it seems that I make too many promises to people that I couldn’t keep up that much. And I have been keeping my appointments/dates up to date.

And lastly, Pendek!! I can’t take the fact that you like to bertekak with me everyday and layan/meyakat all my karenahs. Suke tau mencari kebencian orang!! Keep doing that and I will soon cease to contact/confide in you in any way. HMMPH!!

And I can’t believe I was so freaking excited/intrigued/kaypoh at the moment I knew you had a walkie talkie, baton, gun and cuffs!! And the cute thing was, the policemen were talking about the food at Afghanistan through the walkie talkie!! HAHAH!! You are the one person that I know have that stuff on but hey! Like duh!! Which Policeman doesn’t have those things?? Haha... Jakun nak mampus seh!!“Betul you nak jadi Teacher?” (x 4), said Pendek.

And is it that pelik/strange/funny that I am applying for NIE/MOE?? Then, tell me should I laugh at you when you said, you are a policeman/going to be?? Duush, duush and whoosh!! *melayang to the end of the world*

Well, whatever it is, Love you loads!! Kwakwa!! *public declaration* Sheesh!!

My entries have been long nowadays, Haven’t it?? Hmm… Well, Happy reading!! Comments, please do tag. Alrite??

Bye2… Muax!! *lots of blowing kisses*