just sue's space

U don’t have the right to judge me on my life. I've done what I did and there is no turning back. You can't accept it, that is fine with me. You can leave me like how I left u.

If you think you know so much or all about me, you are totally wrong. Out of a 100%, you have only achieved 20%. You know only that small bit about me. If you are wondering why, ask yourself why.

I couldn't tell you everything that I want to tell you. Why? Because you didn’t like my lifestyle. You didn’t like my friends. You didn’t like how I spent my days. You didn’t like me going out late at night. You didn’t like me to go out everyday. And every single thing you are not happy with, you just tend to bring the past up. Like just now, you can simply said, "I thought you like to go out at night and are used to sitting under blocks?" That was so damn sarcastic okay?

You want me to go back to my old lifestyle; I’ll go back to it. Then you will see the me that is so unconcerned about other people's feelings and is in her own world. The person whom is most detested by her parents. The person in which caused the most turmoil in the family. Do you want me to be that way? The same old person who is so damn depressed that she cried every night for something that she knows it’s impossible?

I just need some assurance for you. I just need trust in a relationship. There is more in a relationship than just physical contact and physical concern. Must everything I do show that I love you? There’s more to a relationship than all this. A relationship is something shared between 2 people. Bonded together are love, care, concern and most importantly, trust. If you feel like you are being forced to trust me, then don’t trust me. At least I know I have a clear conscience and am not lying to you.

If you found it hard to accept me again in the beginning, then why did you even bother? I won't die by your unacceptance. I feel lucky enough to have your friendship. And yes, I put friendship first instead of relationship. Because no matter what happens, friends were always there. When I’m having problems with you, who do I go to? My friends. And remember, if I did not prioritise friendship, I would not have been with you.

I just don't know what you want or expect from me. I did what I thought was essential. I did what I could. I tried but there's always something lacking.

All I wanted from it was happiness which used to be mine. But in this case, mostly what I have gotten is uncertainty and animosity.

This will be the last time I’m asking for it; I jus wish our lives were the same as it used to be, without the negativity.